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{"id":9391,"date":"2016-01-05T16:26:25","date_gmt":"2016-01-05T14:26:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.coolkadin.com\/?p=9391"},"modified":"2016-01-05T16:26:25","modified_gmt":"2016-01-05T14:26:25","slug":"cocuguma-kural-koymali-miyim","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.coolkadin.com\/cocuguma-kural-koymali-miyim.html","title":{"rendered":"\u00c7ocu\u011fuma kural koymal\u0131 m\u0131y\u0131m?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u00c7ocu\u011fumla arkada\u015f olmal\u0131 m\u0131y\u0131m? \u00a0,\u00a0<\/strong>\u00c7ocu\u011fuma kural koymal\u0131 m\u0131y\u0131m?\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Son y\u0131llarda \u00e7ocuk yeti\u015ftirme ile ilgili seminerler, konferanslar, e\u011fitimler ve tv programlar\u0131 o kadar \u00e7ok artt\u0131 ki bana kal\u0131rsa anne ve babalar\u0131n kafas\u0131 olduk\u00e7a kar\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Yeni nesil uzmanlar\u0131n \u00e7o\u011fu \u00e7ocuklar ile arkada\u015f gibi olunmas\u0131 gerekti\u011fini savunmakta ve onlar\u0131n \u00f6zg\u00fcvenlerini art\u0131rmak i\u00e7in serbest b\u0131rak\u0131lmalar\u0131 gerekti\u011fini savunuyorlar.<\/p>\n

Ben ise bu g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015flerin bir k\u0131sm\u0131na kat\u0131lsam da b\u00fcy\u00fck \u00e7o\u011funlu\u011funa kat\u0131lmamaktay\u0131m. Bu yaz\u0131y\u0131 amat\u00f6rce kendi tecr\u00fcbe ve fikirlerime g\u00f6re yaz\u0131yorum bunu \u00f6ncelikle bildirmek isterim. Bana g\u00f6re art\u0131k insanlar daha az ba\u015far\u0131l\u0131lar. Bunun nedenini ise ailelere ve e\u011fitim sistemine ba\u011fl\u0131yorum. E\u011fitim ailede ba\u015flar s\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc hep duymu\u015fuzdur. Evet do\u011fru e\u011fitim ailede ba\u015flar. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc size hen\u00fcz d\u00fcnya \u00fczerindeki hi\u00e7bir \u015feyi g\u00f6rmemi\u015f ve hi\u00e7bir duyguyu tatmam\u0131\u015f bir varl\u0131k emanet edilmekte. Bu varl\u0131\u011f\u0131 yo\u011furmak sizin elinizde. Tabi ki anne ve babalar\u0131n genlerinden de baz\u0131 al\u0131nt\u0131lar yapacakt\u0131r, fakat b\u00fcy\u00fck \u00e7o\u011funlu\u011funu d\u00fcnyaya geldikten sonra onu yeti\u015ftiren anne – baba ve bulundu\u011fu ortamdaki insanlardan \u00f6\u011frenecektir.<\/p>\n

Bana g\u00f6re \u00e7ocuklar ile tamamen arkada\u015f olmak da do\u011fru de\u011fildir. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc \u00e7ocuklar kurallar\u0131 sever. Birilerine ba\u011fl\u0131 olmay\u0131 da. Belirli kurallara ba\u011fl\u0131 insanlar ayn\u0131 zamanda mutlu olurlar. \u00d6rnek vermek gerekirse baz\u0131 istatistikler kurallar oldu\u011fu halde, herhangi bir dine inanan insanlar\u0131n daha mutlu oldu\u011funu g\u00f6steriyor. D\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcn ki \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131z i\u015finizin hi\u00e7bir kural\u0131 yok ne kadar motive olabilir, mutlu olabilir ve hatta ba\u015far\u0131l\u0131 olabilirsiniz ki? \u00d6yleyse kurallar\u0131 sevmek bizim yarat\u0131l\u0131\u015f\u0131m\u0131zda var diyebiliriz. Fakat burada dikkat etmemiz gereken seviyeye g\u00f6re kurallard\u0131r. Yani k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fcc\u00fck bir \u00e7ocu\u011fa a\u011f\u0131r kurallar koymak o \u00e7ocu\u011fun d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnce ve hayal g\u00fcc\u00fcn\u00fc k\u00f6reltir. Seviyelerine g\u00f6re kurallar koymak ise hem onlar\u0131 hayata haz\u0131rlar hem de geli\u015fimlerini destekler. Kural koyarken denedi\u011fim bir y\u00f6ntemi sizler ile payla\u015fmak istiyorum. Okul \u00f6ncesi d\u00f6nemdeki o\u011fluma evimizin kurallar\u0131 oldu\u011fundan bahsettim ve bana \u201cbiliyorum anneci\u011fim\u201d dedi. O zaman uygulamakta eksik kald\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z \u015feyleri birlikte belirleyelim dedim ve bir ka\u011f\u0131t kalem ile ba\u015flad\u0131k yazmaya. \u00d6nce ona sordum ve o s\u00f6yledi ben yazd\u0131m. Bunu yaparken olduk\u00e7a da e\u011flendik. Sonra bu ka\u011f\u0131d\u0131 buzdolab\u0131n\u0131n \u00fczerine koyarak her g\u00fcn uygulamaya ba\u015flad\u0131k. Kurallar\u0131 kendi belirlemi\u015f gibi oldu. Siz de bu y\u00f6ntemi kullanabilirsiniz. Etkili bir y\u00f6ntem, fakat bir kere aksat\u0131rsan\u0131z ciddiyetini kaybediyor haberiniz olsun\u2026<\/p>\n

\u00c7ocu\u011fumla arkada\u015f m\u0131 olmal\u0131y\u0131m sorusuna gelince\u2026\u00e7ocuklar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n zaten hayatlar\u0131 boyunca etraf\u0131nda arkada\u015flar\u0131 olacakt\u0131r. Ama anne ve babas\u0131 sizden ba\u015fka olmayacakt\u0131r. Bu nedenle ben derim ki \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n\u0131za arkada\u015f de\u011fil ba\u015faramad\u0131\u011f\u0131nda s\u0131rt\u0131n\u0131 yaslad\u0131\u011f\u0131, g\u00fcven duydu\u011fu ve her ne olursa olsun sevilece\u011fine inand\u0131\u011f\u0131 anne \u2013 babas\u0131 olun\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u00c7ocu\u011fumla…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":9408,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1526],"tags":[6496,6495,6498,6497],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.coolkadin.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9391"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.coolkadin.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.coolkadin.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.coolkadin.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.coolkadin.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9391"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.coolkadin.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9391\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.coolkadin.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/9408"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.coolkadin.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9391"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.coolkadin.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9391"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.coolkadin.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9391"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}