Anne babalar\u0131n \u00e7ocuk disiplininde yapmas\u0131 gerekenler nelerdir?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Aile \u00fcyelerinin belli bir d\u00fczene g\u00f6re ya\u015famas\u0131 i\u00e7in olu\u015fturulan disiplin, genel anlam\u0131yla ki\u015filerin i\u00e7inde ya\u015fad\u0131klar\u0131 toplulu\u011fun genel d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnce ve davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131na uymalar\u0131n\u0131 sa\u011flamak amac\u0131yla al\u0131nan \u00f6nlemlerin t\u00fcm\u00fcd\u00fcr. Bu, evin ve ailenin de\u011fer, d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnce ve davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131na uygun, yap\u0131lmas\u0131 ve yap\u0131lmamas\u0131 gereken davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131 i\u00e7eren \u00f6nlemler yani bir davran\u0131\u015f d\u00fczeni demektir. Ak\u015fam yatma saati, yeme d\u00fczeni, tv seyretme, di\u015f f\u0131r\u00e7alama gibi durumlar\u0131n sa\u011fl\u0131kl\u0131 ve bilin\u00e7li d\u00fczenlenmesi k\u0131s\u0131tlama engelleme de\u011fil, d\u00fczenli bir ya\u015fam sistemi yaratmakt\u0131r. Baz\u0131 ailelerin disiplini(d\u00fczeni) daha kat\u0131, baz\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131n ise esnektir. Burada \u00f6nemli olan bu d\u00fczenin nas\u0131l yap\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131d\u0131r. Kurallar\u0131n yerle\u015fmesini sa\u011flamak i\u00e7in davran\u0131\u015f \u00f6ncesi, davran\u0131\u015f s\u0131ras\u0131nda ve davran\u0131\u015ftan sonra yap\u0131lmas\u0131 gerekenler vard\u0131r.<\/p>\n

Davran\u0131\u015ftan \u00f6nce;<\/strong><\/p>\n

* \u00d6nleyici a\u00e7\u0131klama yapmak, kurallar\u0131 \u00f6\u011fretmek (Sokakta a\u011flayarak bir \u015fey istemesinden ne kadar rahats\u0131z oldu\u011funuzu, nas\u0131l davranmas\u0131 gerekti\u011fini belirtmek)<\/p>\n

* \u00c7evreyi, ko\u015fulu de\u011fi\u015ftirmek. (Soka\u011fa \u00e7\u0131kar \u00e7\u0131kmaz tuvalet ihtiyac\u0131n\u0131 gidermek i\u00e7in tuvalet aramamak i\u00e7in evden \u00e7\u0131kmadan \u00f6nlem almak, yemek zaman\u0131nda zor yemek yiyorsa yemek \u00f6ncesinde abur cubur yemesini engellemek ya da yemek saatini de\u011fi\u015ftirmek)<\/p>\n

* \u00d6rnek olmak (Anne Baba olarak model olmak. Kitap okuma al\u0131\u015fkanl\u0131\u011f\u0131 olmayan ebeveynlerin \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n\u0131n kitap okumalar\u0131n\u0131 beklemesi, \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n\u0131n k\u00fcf\u00fcrl\u00fc konu\u015fmas\u0131n\u0131 istemeyen anne baban\u0131n, kendisinin k\u00fcf\u00fcrl\u00fc, argo konu\u015fmas\u0131 gibi)<\/p>\n

* A\u015famalar\u0131 \u00f6\u011fretmek (Odas\u0131n\u0131 toplama beklentiniz ne kadar ger\u00e7ek\u00e7i ? Odas\u0131n\u0131 nas\u0131l toplamas\u0131 gerekti\u011fini a\u015fama a\u015fama \u00f6\u011fretmelisiniz. Arabalar buraya, Legolar\u0131n kutusu bu, \u015feklinde yard\u0131m etmelisiniz)<\/p>\n

Sorun s\u0131ras\u0131nda;<\/strong><\/p>\n

* Ger\u00e7ek sebebi anlamaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmak. (\u00c7ocuk i\u00e7in sorunu yaratan durumun alt\u0131nda bir engellenmi\u015flik ya da ba\u015fka istek ve ihtiya\u00e7lar olabilir. Anne-babas\u0131n\u0131n yan\u0131nda korku sebebiyle yatmak isteyen \u00e7ocuk, doyuma ula\u015fmam\u0131\u015f bir sevgi gereksiniminde olabilir.)<\/p>\n

* Alternatifler sunmak (Makyaj malzemelerinizi kar\u0131\u015ft\u0131r\u0131yorsa ona benzer \u00e7ocuk malzemeleri almak, ablas\u0131n\u0131n defterini karal\u0131yorsa ona ba\u015fka bir defter almak)<\/p>\n

* Duygular\u0131n\u0131z\u0131 belirtmek (“Yeme\u011fini yemedi\u011fin zaman \u00fcz\u00fcl\u00fcyorum, beslenemedi\u011fini d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyorum.\u201d\u201dArkada\u015f\u0131na vurdu\u011fun zaman onun can\u0131 yan\u0131yor, \u00e7ok \u00fcz\u00fcl\u00fcyor.\u201d)<\/p>\n

Sorundan sonra;<\/p>\n

* Sonu\u00e7lar\u0131 de\u011ferlendirmek (“Bak odan toplu olmay\u0131nca, arad\u0131\u011f\u0131n oyunca\u011f\u0131 bulam\u0131yorsun.\u201d)<\/p>\n

* Sonu\u00e7lar\u0131 ya\u015famas\u0131na izin vermek (Duvar\u0131n\u0131 boyayan \u00e7ocu\u011fun, duvar\u0131 temizlemesini sa\u011flamak)<\/p>\n

Anne Babalar\u0131n bu stratejileri olu\u015ftururken ortak tav\u0131r almas\u0131, birinin hay\u0131r dedi\u011fine di\u011ferinin evet dememesi, kararl\u0131 ve tutarl\u0131 davranmalar\u0131 istenen davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131 geli\u015ftirmesine yard\u0131mc\u0131 olacakt\u0131r. “Hadi bu seferlik izin veriyorum.\u201d “Al da sus yeter ki !\u201d yakla\u015f\u0131mlar\u0131 tutars\u0131z yakla\u015f\u0131mlard\u0131r. \u00c7ocu\u011fa verilen mesajlar kar\u0131\u015f\u0131r; \u00e7ocuk neyin do\u011fru, neyin yanl\u0131\u015f oldu\u011funu anlamakta g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fck \u00e7eker. Deneme ve isyan\u0131 k\u00f6r\u00fckler, \u00f6\u011frenmeyi ve sorumluluk kazanmay\u0131 engeller.<\/p>\n

<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

En \u00e7ok hangi hatalar\u0131 yaparlar?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Hata tan\u0131m\u0131 \u00e7ocu\u011fun ya\u015f\u0131na, mizac\u0131na, aile yap\u0131s\u0131na g\u00f6re de\u011ferlendirilmelidir. Anne babas\u0131na 3-4 ya\u015f\u0131nda tekme atan, ona sen pissin, \u00e7\u00f6ps\u00fcn diye kendince \u00f6fkesini g\u00f6steren \u00e7ocukla, 9 ya\u015f\u0131ndakinin benzer davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131 ayn\u0131 de\u011fildir. Ebeveyni rahats\u0131z eden genelde, a\u011flayarak isteklerini belirtmesi, nedensiz huzursuz a\u011flamas\u0131, arkada\u015flar\u0131na vurmas\u0131, \u0131s\u0131rmas\u0131, k\u00fcf\u00fcrl\u00fc konu\u015fmas\u0131 ev e\u015fyalar\u0131na zarar vermesi, tuvalet e\u011fitimini ald\u0131\u011f\u0131 halde evde yere tuvaletini yapmas\u0131, bir ba\u015fkas\u0131n\u0131n yan\u0131nda farkl\u0131 davran\u0131\u015flar sergilemesi, yatma saatinde yatmamas\u0131, tv’nin ba\u015f\u0131ndan kalkmamas\u0131, yeme\u011fini yememesi gibi davran\u0131\u015flard\u0131r. Bu hatalar\u0131n devam\u0131n\u0131 sa\u011flayanlar ise ailelerin \u015fu t\u00fcr yakla\u015f\u0131mlar\u0131d\u0131r;<\/p>\n

* \u00c7ocukta g\u00f6r\u00fclen istenmeyen davran\u0131\u015f\u0131n bir s\u00fcre sonra kendili\u011finden ge\u00e7ece\u011fi inanc\u0131<\/p>\n

* \u00c7ocu\u011fun anne babay\u0131 duymazdan gelmeye neden olan b\u0131kt\u0131r\u0131c\u0131 tekrarlar ve hat\u0131rlatmalar<\/p>\n

* Konu\u015fmalar, ders vermeler, s\u00f6ylevler<\/p>\n

* Onayland\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcren, yanl\u0131\u015f davran\u0131\u015f\u0131 g\u00f6rmezden gelmek<\/p>\n

* A\u00e7\u0131k olmayan direktifler (“birbirinizle g\u00fczel g\u00fczel oynay\u0131n\u201d)
\n
\n\u00c7ocu\u011fa hangi noktada “hay\u0131r\u201d denmelidir?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Kabul s\u0131n\u0131rlar\u0131n\u0131z\u0131 a\u015fan durumlarda, davran\u0131\u015ftan \u00f6nce kural\u0131 \u00f6\u011fretti\u011finiz durumlarda, s\u0131k tekrarlanan durumlarda kararl\u0131 ve tutarl\u0131 “hay\u0131r\u201d denmesi davran\u0131\u015f\u0131n yeniden d\u00fczenlenmesine ba\u015flang\u0131\u00e7 olacakt\u0131r. Hay\u0131r demek ceza demek de\u011fildir. \u00c7ocu\u011fa g\u00f6sterilen bir tav\u0131rd\u0131r.<\/p>\n

“Hay\u0131r\u201d \u00e7ocu\u011fun ya\u015f\u0131na, ki\u015filik yap\u0131s\u0131na ve \u00f6zel durumlara g\u00f6re d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fclmelidir.3 ya\u015f\u0131nda yeme\u011fini \u00fcst\u00fcne d\u00f6kmeden yemesi beklenemez. \u00c7ocu\u011fa kurallar\u0131n nedeni anlat\u0131lmal\u0131d\u0131r. Beklenen davran\u0131\u015f a\u00e7\u0131klanmal\u0131, hangi davran\u0131\u015f\u0131n, ne zaman beklendi\u011fi a\u00e7\u0131k bir dille \u00f6\u011fretilmelidir. Kurallar\u0131n uygulanmas\u0131nda \u00e7ocu\u011fa aktif rol ve sorumluluk verilmelidir. Beklendik davran\u0131\u015flar veya ona yak\u0131n olanlar ve \u00e7abas\u0131 takdir edilerek peki\u015ftirilmelidir.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

<\/a><\/p>\n

Baz\u0131 isteklerine hay\u0131r demenin yarar ve zararlar\u0131 nelerdir?<\/strong><\/p>\n

K\u0131s\u0131tlay\u0131c\u0131 s\u0131n\u0131rlar ve a\u015f\u0131r\u0131 kontrol ,denemek ve ke\u015ffetmek i\u00e7in \u00e7ocu\u011fa \u00e7ok az \u00f6zg\u00fcrl\u00fck sunar. Tamamen yeti\u015fkine ait bir kontrol \u00e7ocu\u011fun \u00f6zdenetimi geli\u015ftirmesini engeller. \u00d6\u011frenme ve sorumluluk kazanmay\u0131 engeller, \u00e7ocukta isyan\u0131 k\u00f6r\u00fckler. “Hay\u0131r\u201d lar \u00e7ocuklara s\u0131n\u0131rlar\u0131 \u00f6\u011fretmek, elindekilerle tatmin olmas\u0131n\u0131 sa\u011flamaktad\u0131r. Sorumluluk ve \u00f6zg\u00fcrl\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn aile bireyleri aras\u0131nda sa\u011fl\u0131kl\u0131 da\u011f\u0131l\u0131m\u0131 s\u00f6z konusudur. Anne bab ve \u00e7ocu\u011fun haklar\u0131 g\u00fcvence alt\u0131ndad\u0131r. S\u0131n\u0131rlar\u0131n ihlal edilmesi durumunda nelerle kar\u015f\u0131la\u015faca\u011f\u0131, \u00f6nceden t\u00fcm taraflar taraf\u0131ndan bilinir. A\u011flayarak oyunca\u011fa ula\u015famayaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bilir. \u00d6\u011frenmeyi ve sorumluluk kazanmay\u0131 artt\u0131r\u0131r, i\u015fbirli\u011fini ve ili\u015fkileri d\u00fczenler.<\/p>\n

Ebeveyn \u00e7ocu\u011fun isteklerini yapmad\u0131\u011f\u0131nda su\u00e7luluk psikolojisinden nas\u0131l kurtulabilir?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Su\u00e7luluk psikolojisi yanl\u0131\u015f yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131na inanmakt\u0131r. \u00c7ocu\u011fun \u00f6zdenetimini sa\u011flayacak yakla\u015f\u0131mlar\u0131n sonu\u00e7lar\u0131 ebeveynin do\u011fru yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6sterecektir. E\u011fer sorun s\u00fcr\u00fcyorsa ya fazla kat\u0131, ya tutars\u0131z ya da s\u0131n\u0131rs\u0131z bir yakla\u015f\u0131m s\u00f6z konusudur. \u00c7ocu\u011fa s\u0131n\u0131r koymak, yanl\u0131\u015f davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131 \u00f6nlemek, kurallar\u0131 net ve anla\u015f\u0131l\u0131r \u015fekilde \u00f6\u011fretmek i\u00e7in ihtiya\u00e7 duyulan y\u00f6ntemleri sa\u011flar. Sa\u011fl\u0131kl\u0131 s\u0131n\u0131rlar konuldu\u011funda \u00f6\u011f\u00fctlere, tehditlere, cezalar, r\u00fc\u015fvetlere gerek kalmayacakt\u0131r.\u00c7ocuklar ya\u015fad\u0131klar\u0131 d\u00fcnyan\u0131n kurallar\u0131n\u0131 anlamak isterler ve buna ihtiya\u00e7lar\u0131 vard\u0131r.Onlardan ne beklendi\u011fini, insanlarla birlikteyken nerde duracaklar\u0131n\u0131, ne kadar ileri gidebileceklerini ve \u00e7ok ileri gittiklerinde nelerle kar\u015f\u0131la\u015facaklar\u0131n\u0131 bilmek isterler.S\u0131n\u0131rlar \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n ara\u015ft\u0131rma yapmalar\u0131na yard\u0131mc\u0131 olur. Neden sonu\u00e7 ili\u015fkilerine bu \u015fekilde ula\u015f\u0131rlar.S\u0131n\u0131rlar ili\u015fkileri tan\u0131mlar kim ebeveyn? Kim \u00e7ocuk? Ve s\u0131n\u0131rlar g\u00fcvenlik sa\u011flar.\u00c7ocuklar anne babalar\u0131ndan “anne-baba\u201d olmalar\u0131n\u0131 isterler.Anne babalar\u0131n\u0131n s\u0131n\u0131rlar\u0131 belirlemede kararl\u0131 olmalar\u0131n\u0131 ve kendilerine g\u00fcvenecekleri s\u0131n\u0131rlar\u0131 sa\u011flamalar\u0131n\u0131 beklerler.<\/p>\n

* KARARLI VE TUTARLI B\u0130R TUTUM SERG\u0130LEY\u0130N\u0130Z.<\/p>\n

* MESAJLARINIZ \u00c7OCU\u011eU DAVRANI\u015eI \u00dcZER\u0130NE OLSUN.<\/p>\n

* DO\u011eRUDAN VE BEL\u0130RG\u0130N \u0130FADELER KULLANINIZ.<\/p>\n

* NORMAL B\u0130R SES TONU KULLANINIZ.<\/p>\n

* SONU\u00c7LARLA Y\u00dcZLE\u015eT\u0130R\u0130N\u0130Z.<\/p>\n

* S\u00d6ZLER\u0130M\u0130Z DAVRANI\u015eLARIMIZLA DESTEKLENMEL\u0130D\u0130R.<\/p>\n

DBE Davran\u0131\u015f Bilimleri Enstit\u00fcs\u00fc<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Anne…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":86048,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1526],"tags":[35854,35853,35855],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.coolkadin.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/86047"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.coolkadin.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.coolkadin.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.coolkadin.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.coolkadin.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=86047"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.coolkadin.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/86047\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.coolkadin.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/86048"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.coolkadin.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=86047"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.coolkadin.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=86047"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.coolkadin.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=86047"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}