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{"id":83793,"date":"2016-10-20T13:20:45","date_gmt":"2016-10-20T10:20:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.coolkadin.com\/?p=83793"},"modified":"2016-10-20T13:20:45","modified_gmt":"2016-10-20T10:20:45","slug":"basarsiz-cocuklarin-ebeveynlerinin-9-ortak-ozelligi","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.coolkadin.com\/basarsiz-cocuklarin-ebeveynlerinin-9-ortak-ozelligi.html","title":{"rendered":"Ba\u015fars\u0131z \u00c7ocuklar\u0131n Ebeveynlerinin 9 Ortak \u00d6zelli\u011fi"},"content":{"rendered":"

Ebeveynlik d\u00fcnyan\u0131n en zor i\u015flerinden biri.<\/p>\n

Sosyoekonomik durum, ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u00e7evre ve ebeveynlerinin e\u011fitim d\u00fczeyi gibi, bir \u00e7ocu\u011fun ba\u015far\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 etkileyen \u00e7ok say\u0131da etmen bulunur.<\/p>\n

Ara\u015ft\u0131rmac\u0131lar genellikle aileleri uzun vadede izlemeyi s\u00fcrd\u00fcrmedikleri i\u00e7in, hangi ebeveynlik tekniklerinin ideal oldu\u011funu s\u00f6ylemek zor olabilir ama yine de bilim insanlar\u0131 baz\u0131 ebeveyn davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131n\u0131n, \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n ileride kar\u015f\u0131la\u015ft\u0131klar\u0131 depresyon ve kayg\u0131 gibi sorunlarla ili\u015fkilendirilebilece\u011fini saptad\u0131.<\/p>\n

\u0130\u015fte ara\u015ft\u0131rmalara g\u00f6re ebeveynlerin yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131 ve \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n\u0131n ba\u015far\u0131s\u0131z olmas\u0131na neden olan dokuz \u015fey:<\/p>\n

1. \u00c7ocuklar\u0131n\u0131n ba\u011f\u0131ms\u0131z olmas\u0131n\u0131 te\u015fvik etmezler.<\/strong><\/p>\n

1997 y\u0131l\u0131nda Vanderbilt \u00dcniversitesi\u2019nde yap\u0131lan bir ara\u015ft\u0131rma, \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n\u0131 psikolojik olarak kontrol alt\u0131nda tutan ebeveynlerin, kendine g\u00fcven ve kendine yeterlilik duygusunun \u00e7ocuklar\u0131nda d\u00fc\u015f\u00fck olmas\u0131na yol a\u00e7t\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6sterdi. Ara\u015ft\u0131rmaya g\u00f6re, \u00e7ocuklar\u0131, \u00f6zellikle de ergenleri ba\u011f\u0131ms\u0131z davranmalar\u0131 i\u00e7in y\u00fcreklendirmek, onlar\u0131n sorun \u00e7\u00f6zme ve ki\u015fileraras\u0131 ili\u015fki kurma becerilerini g\u00fc\u00e7lendirmesi bak\u0131m\u0131ndan iyi olabilir. Bunun yan\u0131 s\u0131ra ara\u015ft\u0131rma, daha fazla ba\u011f\u0131ms\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131n, ergenlerin akran bask\u0131s\u0131na kar\u015f\u0131 koyabilme becerilerinde art\u0131\u015fa sebep oldu\u011funu kan\u0131tlad\u0131.<\/p>\n

2. \u00c7ocuklar\u0131na ba\u011f\u0131r\u0131rlar, hem de \u00e7ok.<\/strong><\/p>\n

2013 y\u0131l\u0131nda Pittsburgh \u00dcniversitesi\u2019nde yap\u0131lan bir ara\u015ft\u0131rma, ba\u011f\u0131rma, k\u00fcf\u00fcr ya da hakaret etme gibi sert s\u00f6zel disiplin y\u00f6ntemlerinin uzun vadede \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n duygusal ve ruhsal sa\u011fl\u0131klar\u0131na zarar verebilece\u011fini g\u00f6sterdi. \u0130ki y\u0131ll\u0131k \u00e7al\u0131\u015fma ayr\u0131ca sert s\u00f6zel disiplinin, fiziksel disipline odaklanm\u0131\u015f \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmalar\u0131n sonu\u00e7lar\u0131yla kar\u015f\u0131la\u015ft\u0131r\u0131labilir olumsuz etkileri -davran\u0131\u015f problemleri ya da depresif belirtiler- olabilece\u011fini de g\u00f6sterdi. Ara\u015ft\u0131rman\u0131n y\u00f6neticisi, \u201cBu ebeveynler i\u00e7in \u00e7ok zor bir karar: \u00c7ocuklar\u0131n davran\u0131\u015f problemleri ebeveynleri sert s\u00f6zel disipline ba\u015fvurmaya itiyor ama bu disiplin y\u00f6ntemi ayn\u0131 zamanda ergenleri ayn\u0131 davran\u0131\u015f problemlerine y\u00f6nlendiriyor\u201d diyor.<\/p>\n

3. Helikopter ebeveyndirler.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u0130lgili bir ebeveyn olmak iyi bir \u015feydir ama \u201chelikopter ebeveyn\u201d ya da a\u015f\u0131r\u0131 kontrolc\u00fc bir ebeyeyn olmak \u00e7ocuklarda ileri d\u00fczeyde kayg\u0131 ve depresyona neden olabilir. Yakla\u015f\u0131k \u00fc\u00e7 y\u00fcz \u00fcniversite \u00f6\u011frencisi \u00fczerinde yap\u0131lan ara\u015ft\u0131rmay\u0131 y\u00fcr\u00fcten ara\u015ft\u0131rmac\u0131lardan birisi, \u201cA\u015f\u0131r\u0131 kontrolc\u00fc ebeveynleri oldu\u011funu s\u00f6yleyen \u00f6\u011frenciler ayn\u0131 zamanda belirgin bir \u015fekilde daha y\u00fcksek depresyon oran\u0131na sahipti ve ya\u015famlar\u0131ndan daha az memnundu\u201d diyor. A\u015f\u0131r\u0131 kontrolc\u00fc ebeveynler ile \u00fcniversite \u00e7a\u011f\u0131ndaki yeti\u015fkinlerdeki depresyon oran\u0131 ili\u015fkisi \u00fczerine yap\u0131lan daha pek \u00e7ok ara\u015ft\u0131rma bulunuyor. 2011 y\u0131l\u0131nda Tennessee \u00dcniversitesi\u2019nde y\u00fcr\u00fct\u00fclen bir ara\u015ft\u0131rmada, \u201chelikopter ebeveynlere\u201d sahip \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n yeni fikirlere daha az a\u00e7\u0131k oldu\u011fu, daha \u00e7ok i\u00e7e kapan\u0131k oldu\u011fu ve daha fazla a\u011fr\u0131 kesici ila\u00e7 kulland\u0131\u011f\u0131 saptand\u0131.<\/p>\n

4. \u00c7ocuklar\u0131n\u0131n istedikleri saatte yatmas\u0131na izin verirler.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u0130ngiltere\u2019de yap\u0131lan bir ara\u015ft\u0131rma, d\u00fczensiz uyku saatleri ile hiperaktivite, davran\u0131\u015f problemleri, akran sorunlar\u0131 ve duygusal zorluklar gibi k\u00f6t\u00fcle\u015fen davran\u0131\u015f puanlar\u0131 aras\u0131nda bir ili\u015fki oldu\u011funu ortaya koydu. D\u00fczensiz uyku saatleri ayn\u0131 zamanda beyin geli\u015fimini de etkileyebiliyor. Ara\u015ft\u0131rmac\u0131lardan Yvonne Kelly \u015f\u00f6yle diyor: \u201cErken \u00e7ocukluk geli\u015fiminin, ki\u015finin ya\u015fam boyu fiziksel, duygusal ve ruhsal sa\u011fl\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u00fczerinde \u00f6nemli etkileri oldu\u011funu biliyoruz. Bu y\u00fczden \u00f6zellikle geli\u015fimin \u00f6nemli noktalar\u0131nda ya\u015fanan uyku d\u00fczensizlikleri, sa\u011fl\u0131k \u00fczerinde ya\u015fam boyu s\u00fcrecek \u00f6nemli etkilere sebep olabilir.\u201d<\/p>\n

5. \u00c7ocuklar\u0131n\u0131n \u00e7ok k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fckken televizyon izlemelerine izin verirler.<\/strong><\/p>\n

2007 y\u0131l\u0131nda yap\u0131lan bir ara\u015ft\u0131rma, \u00fc\u00e7 ya\u015f\u0131ndan \u00f6nce \u00e7ok fazla televizyon izlemenin, \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n s\u00f6zc\u00fck da\u011farc\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, \u00e7evrelerine kat\u0131l\u0131m\u0131n\u0131 etkiledi\u011fini ve onlar\u0131n anas\u0131n\u0131f\u0131nda akranlar\u0131na g\u00f6re zorbal\u0131\u011fa daha yatk\u0131n olmalar\u0131na neden oldu\u011funu ortaya koyuyor. \u00c7ok fazla televizyon izlenmesi ayr\u0131ca okuma ve matematikte geri kalma ya da dikkat problemleriyle de ili\u015fkilendiriliyor. Baz\u0131 ara\u015ft\u0131rmalar, \u201cSusam Soka\u011f\u0131\u201d ve \u201cBarney\u201d gibi programlar\u0131n faydal\u0131 oldu\u011funu ama bunun da sadece iki bu\u00e7uk ile be\u015f ya\u015f aras\u0131ndaki \u00e7ocuklar i\u00e7in ge\u00e7erli oldu\u011funu g\u00f6steriyor.<\/p>\n

6. Otoriterdirler.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Geli\u015fim psikolo\u011fu Diana Baumride 1960\u2032larda, temel olarak \u00fc\u00e7 t\u00fcr ebeveynlik tarz\u0131 oldu\u011funu belirledi: M\u00fcsamahakar, otoriter ve yetki sahibi. \u00c7ocu\u011fu ak\u0131lc\u0131 bir \u015fekilde y\u00f6nlendiren, \u201cyetki sahibi\u201d ebeveynlik en idealidir. En k\u00f6t\u00fcs\u00fc m\u00fc? S\u00fcrekli talepte bulunan ve a\u00e7\u0131k ileti\u015fime kapal\u0131 olan otoriter ebeveynler. Bunu ger\u00e7ek d\u00fcnyadan \u00f6rneklerle a\u00e7\u0131klayacak olursak; otoriter ebeveynler, \u201cS\u0131navdan A alman gerekiyor, \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc ben \u00f6yle diyorum\u201d diyebilir. Bu, \u00e7ocu\u011fun anlayabilece\u011fi herhangi bir gerek\u00e7e i\u00e7ermeyen, standart bir kurald\u0131r. \u00d6te yandan yetki sahibi ebeveynler, \u00e7ocuklar\u0131na iyi not almalar\u0131n\u0131n daha iyi \u00f6\u011frenmelerine ve ya\u015famda ba\u015far\u0131l\u0131 olmalar\u0131na yarayaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131klarlar. 2005 y\u0131l\u0131nda yap\u0131lan bir ara\u015ft\u0131rma, otoriter ebeveynli\u011fin, \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n okulda \u00e7ekingen performans sergilemelerine neden olabilece\u011fini g\u00f6steriyor.<\/p>\n

7. \u00c7ocuklar\u0131n\u0131n yan\u0131nda s\u0131k s\u0131k cep telefonlar\u0131n\u0131 kullan\u0131rlar.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Bu y\u0131l yay\u0131nlanan bir ara\u015ft\u0131rma, ebeveynlerin dikkatlerinin ba\u015fka yerde olmas\u0131n\u0131n \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n geli\u015fimini olumsuz y\u00f6nde etkileyebilece\u011fini ortaya koydu. Ara\u015ft\u0131rma s\u0131\u00e7anlar \u00fczerinde yap\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131 i\u00e7in bunun insanlara da uyarlan\u0131p uyarlanamayaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bilmiyoruz. En az\u0131ndan, bizim dikkatimizin teknolojiyle da\u011f\u0131lmas\u0131n\u0131n iyi olmayabildi\u011fi s\u00f6ylenebilir. 2015 y\u0131l\u0131nda Pennsylvania Devlet \u00dcniversitesi, ak\u0131ll\u0131 telefon kullan\u0131m\u0131n\u0131n \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n geli\u015fimi ve refah\u0131na y\u00f6nelik ger\u00e7ek bir tehlike oldu\u011funu belirtti.<\/p>\n

8. \u00c7ocuklar\u0131na kar\u015f\u0131 so\u011fuk ya da mesafelidirler.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00c7ocu\u011fumuzla sa\u011fl\u0131kl\u0131 ve olumlu bir ba\u011f kurmam\u0131z kadar de\u011ferli bir \u015fey olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 hepimiz biliriz. Yap\u0131lan pek \u00e7ok ara\u015ft\u0131rma, d\u00fc\u015f\u00fck seviyede ebeveyn sevgisinin \u00e7ocuklarda ve ergenlerde g\u00fcvensizlik ve duygusal zorluklar gibi davran\u0131\u015f problemlerine katk\u0131da bulunabildi\u011fini g\u00f6steriyor. 1986\u2032da yap\u0131lan bir ara\u015ft\u0131rmaya g\u00f6re, ebeveynlerinden takdir g\u00f6rmeyen \u00e7ocuklar ayr\u0131ca sosyal olarak i\u00e7e kapanma ve kayg\u0131 problemleri ya\u015fayabiliyorlar.
\n9. \u201c\u015eaplak\u201d atarak cezaland\u0131r\u0131rlar.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u015eaplak atman\u0131n \u00e7ocuklar \u00fczerindeki etkisi \u00fczerine 80\u2032lerden bu yana ara\u015ft\u0131rmalar yap\u0131l\u0131yor ve bu cezaland\u0131rma y\u00f6ntemi her defas\u0131nda \u00e7ocuklardaki hiperaktivite, agresyon ve ters davran\u0131\u015flarla ba\u011flant\u0131land\u0131r\u0131l\u0131yor. 2000 y\u0131l\u0131nda yap\u0131lan bir \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmada ara\u015ft\u0131rmac\u0131lar, davran\u0131\u015f problemleri olan birinci s\u0131n\u0131f \u00f6\u011frencileri aras\u0131nda, ebeveynlerinin \u015faplak att\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n di\u011ferlerine g\u00f6re \u00e7evrelerine daha fazla zarar verdi\u011fini ortaya koydu. 2016 y\u0131l\u0131nda Texas \u00dcniversitesi\u2019nin, 160,000 \u00e7ocuk \u00fczerinde yap\u0131lan elli y\u0131ll\u0131k bir ara\u015ft\u0131rmay\u0131 analiz etmesi, \u015faplak atman\u0131n zihin sa\u011fl\u0131\u011f\u0131 problemleri ve bili\u015fsel zorluklarla ilintili oldu\u011funu ortaya koydu.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Ebeveynlik…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":83794,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1526],"tags":[35296,35291,35292,32330,35295,35293,35294],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.coolkadin.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/83793"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.coolkadin.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.coolkadin.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.coolkadin.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.coolkadin.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=83793"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.coolkadin.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/83793\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.coolkadin.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/83794"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.coolkadin.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=83793"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.coolkadin.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=83793"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.coolkadin.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=83793"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}