G\u00fcn\u00fcm\u00fczde ya\u015fanan ili\u015fkilerin en b\u00fcy\u00fck sorunlar\u0131ndan biri ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131l\u0131k, tak\u0131nt\u0131, melankolik bir ruhla partnerlerin birbirlerini hastal\u0131kl\u0131 \u015fekilde sevmeleri, de\u011fer vermeleridir.<\/p>\n

A\u015fk ve sevgiye ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131 m\u0131s\u0131n\u0131z?<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

\u0130li\u015fkilerde ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131l\u0131ktan kurtulman\u0131n yollar\u0131<\/strong><\/p>\n

Unutmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131z eski sevgiliniz, terk edemedi\u011finiz e\u015finizle ili\u015fkide ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131 sonuna kadar ya\u015f\u0131yorsunuz, de\u011fil mi? Ancak merak etmeyin, ili\u015fkilerde ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131l\u0131ktan kurtulman\u0131n yollar\u0131 var. Uzman psikolog Ey\u00fcp Sar\u0131, ili\u015fkilerde ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131l\u0131k hakk\u0131nda bilgilerini siz de\u011ferli \u2018Y\u00fcksek Topuklar\u2019 okuyucular\u0131yla payla\u015f\u0131yor.<\/p>\n

Genellikle ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131l\u0131kla ili\u015fkilendirilen kelimeler saplant\u0131l\u0131, a\u015f\u0131r\u0131, y\u0131k\u0131c\u0131, komp\u00fclsif, al\u0131\u015f\u0131lm\u0131\u015f, tutku ve ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131 kelimeleridir. Yiyece\u011fe, bar\u0131na\u011fa, fiziksel dokunu\u015fa ve fiziksel uyar\u0131lman\u0131n di\u011fer formlar\u0131na, fark\u0131ndal\u0131k ve ait olman\u0131n hissine ihtiya\u00e7 duyulur.<\/p>\n

Bu durumlar\u0131n ortaya koydu\u011fu \u015fudur ki: Ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131 olma durumunu ortaya \u00e7\u0131karan, ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131 olunan bir objenin t\u00fcketilen ya da deneyimlenen miktar\u0131 ile ili\u015fkili olmaktan \u00e7ok, bu ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131n ki\u015finin hayat\u0131n\u0131 nas\u0131l etkiledi\u011fidir. Yani ki\u015finin sosyal hayat\u0131n\u0131 etkilemesi.<\/p>\n

Elbetteki fiziksel ve duygusal ihtiya\u00e7lar\u0131m\u0131z do\u011fal haklar\u0131m\u0131zd\u0131r. Buna ra\u011fmen bazen, ihtiya\u00e7lar\u0131 kar\u015f\u0131lamak di\u011fer \u00f6nemli hayat me\u015fguliyetlerinden daha fazla zaman ve ilgi gerektirdi\u011finde ihtiya\u00e7lar ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131l\u0131k halini al\u0131r.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Sevgi Ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131<\/strong><\/p>\n

Sevgi ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131\u011f\u0131, tatmin olmam\u0131\u015f ihtiya\u00e7lar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 kar\u015f\u0131lamak, korkudan ve ac\u0131dan korunmak, problemlerimizi \u00e7\u00f6zmek ve var olan dengeyi korumak ama\u00e7lar\u0131yla, ki\u015finin kendisinden ba\u015fka birisine g\u00fcvenmesidir.<\/p>\n

Ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131l\u0131k sevgi gibi g\u00f6r\u00fcnebilir. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc o insanlar\u0131n, kendilerini bir ba\u015fkas\u0131na \u015fiddetle ba\u011flamas\u0131na neden olan bir g\u00fc\u00e7t\u00fcr. Ger\u00e7ekte ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131l\u0131k sevgi de\u011fil, sevgisizliktir. Vermekten \u00e7ok alman\u0131n pe\u015findedir. Olgunla\u015fma yerine \u00e7ocukla\u015fmay\u0131 besler. \u00d6zg\u00fcrle\u015ftirmek yerine, k\u0131s\u0131tlamaya, k\u00f6lele\u015ftirmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131r. Sonunda da ili\u015fkileri ve insanlar\u0131 geli\u015ftirmek yerine y\u0131k\u0131ma u\u011frat\u0131r.<\/p>\n

Sevgi ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131n kayna\u011f\u0131nda sevgi eksikli\u011fi vard\u0131r. Ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131 ki\u015filerin kurtulamad\u0131klar\u0131 i\u00e7sel bo\u015fluk hissi, do\u011frudan do\u011fruya ana babalar\u0131n\u0131n, \u00e7ocukluklar\u0131 s\u0131ras\u0131nda ihtiya\u00e7 duyduklar\u0131 \u015fefkat, dikkat ve \u00f6zeni kendilerine verememi\u015f olmalar\u0131n\u0131n bir sonucudur. Sevgisiz ya da sevginin d\u00fczensiz bir bi\u00e7imde g\u00f6sterildi\u011fi bir ortamda b\u00fcy\u00fcyen \u00e7ocuklar, yeti\u015fkinli\u011fe ad\u0131m atarken b\u00f6yle bir i\u00e7 g\u00fcvenden yoksundur. Bir\u00e7o\u011fu i\u00e7in bunun sebebi \u00e7ocukluktaki ihtiya\u00e7lar\u0131n d\u00fczenli bir \u015fekilde kar\u015f\u0131lanmamas\u0131d\u0131r. Yeti\u015fkinlikte ise sevgi ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131 genellikle eksik \u00f6z g\u00fcven ile birlikte \u201cYeterince elde edememek\u201d ya da \u201cYeterli olamamak\u201d gibi hislerle ba\u011flant\u0131l\u0131 olarak devam eder.<\/p>\n

Ayr\u0131ca ki\u015finin ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131l\u0131k i\u00e7erisinde olmas\u0131 ve ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131 davran\u0131\u015flar sergilemesi, kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131ndakinin de kendini de\u011fersiz hissetmesine sebep olur .<\/p>\n

Bebeksi sevgi : Seviyorum \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc seviliyorum.<\/em><\/p>\n

Olgun sevgi : Sevildim \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc ben sevgiyim.<\/em><\/p>\n

Olgun olmayan sevgi : Seni seviyorum \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc sana ihtiyac\u0131m var.<\/em><\/p>\n

Olgun sevgi : Seni sevmek ho\u015fuma gidiyor.<\/em><\/p>\n

Olgun olmayan sevgi : Benim seni sevmemden \u00f6nce, sen benden ho\u015flanmak zorundas\u0131n.<\/em><\/p>\n

Olgun sevgi ki\u015finin kendine \u00f6zg\u00fc olmas\u0131na, duygu ve d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncelerini \u00f6zg\u00fcrce ifade edebilmesine olanak sa\u011flar. Olgun olmayan sevgi bizi sevgi ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131\u011f\u0131na iter.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

A\u015fk Ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131<\/strong><\/p>\n

Ba\u011fl\u0131l\u0131k, a\u015fk\u0131n ve t\u00fcm insan ili\u015fkilerinin temel ilkesidir. \u00d6zellikle kendimizi yak\u0131n hissetti\u011fimiz, arkada\u015fl\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131, dostlu\u011fumuzu s\u00fcrd\u00fcrmek istedi\u011fimiz insanlardan belli \u00f6l\u00e7\u00fcde ba\u011fl\u0131l\u0131k da bekleriz. Ama her insan, ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131l\u0131ktan ba\u011fl\u0131l\u0131\u011fa geli\u015fme s\u00fcrecini tam olarak sa\u011fl\u0131kl\u0131 bir bi\u00e7imde ilerletemiyor. Baz\u0131lar\u0131nda, ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131l\u0131ktan kaynaklanan \u00f6z-g\u00fcvensizlik ve kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131ndakine dayanma, yap\u0131\u015fma ihtiyac\u0131 hep s\u00fcr\u00fcyor. Bu tip insanlar, ilk bulduklar\u0131 sevgi nesnesine yo\u011fun bir \u015fekilde ba\u011flan\u0131yor ve onlar\u0131 g\u00f6ren s\u0131r\u0131ls\u0131klam a\u015f\u0131k zannediyor. Oysa elbette ba\u011fl\u0131l\u0131k hissi olmadan a\u015fk olmaz ama ba\u011fl\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131n ve s\u0131k\u0131ca ba\u011flanman\u0131n a\u015fkla do\u011frudan bir ili\u015fkisi yoktur.<\/p>\n

A\u015f\u0131r\u0131 ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131l\u0131k sorunu yeti\u015fkin ki\u015filerin \u00f6zel ili\u015fkilerinde ortaya \u00e7\u0131kar. Bir ili\u015fkinin ilk d\u00f6neminde genellikle ki\u015filerin birbirine a\u015f\u0131r\u0131 derecede ba\u011fland\u0131\u011f\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcl\u00fcr. Ki\u015finin b\u00fct\u00fcn hayat\u0131 bir s\u00fcre i\u00e7in duygusal bir bi\u00e7imde, \u00f6teki e\u015fe y\u00f6nelir; mutluluk buna ba\u011fl\u0131d\u0131r. Genellikle a\u015fk ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131s\u0131 ki\u015finin romantik a\u015fk hedefini gizlice takip etmesi \u015feklinde kendini g\u00f6steren dramatik bir tak\u0131nt\u0131 halini al\u0131r.<\/p>\n

Ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131l\u0131klar insanlar\u0131n i\u015flevselli\u011fini her alanda s\u0131n\u0131rland\u0131rabilir. \u00d6zel hayat, i\u015f hayat\u0131, \u00e7ocuklar, sosyal ili\u015fkiler. Bunlar\u0131n hepsi bizim ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131l\u0131klar\u0131m\u0131zdan nasibini almaktad\u0131r. Yani ki\u015finin i\u015flevselli\u011fine fark\u0131nda olsun ya da olmas\u0131n b\u00fcy\u00fck zararlar verebilmektedir. Genellikle bu ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131l\u0131klar bizim ikili ili\u015fkilerimizin devam etmesinde yada edememesinde fark\u0131nda olunur. \u00d6zellikle bizim toplumumuzda bir evlilik terapisti, cinsel terapist yada bir psikoterapistten yard\u0131m almak hem k\u00fclt\u00fcrel hem de maddi sebeplerden dolay\u0131 \u00e7ok kolay olmamaktad\u0131r. Fakat bu ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131l\u0131klarla ya\u015famak san\u0131r\u0131m daha zor bir s\u00fcre\u00e7tir. Vakit kaybetmeden bir profesyonel yard\u0131m almay\u0131 deneyimleyebilirsiniz.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

G\u00fcn\u00fcm\u00fczde…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":65208,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[128],"tags":[566,178,26759,26758,98,26760],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.coolkadin.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/65205"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.coolkadin.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.coolkadin.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.coolkadin.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.coolkadin.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=65205"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.coolkadin.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/65205\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.coolkadin.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/65208"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.coolkadin.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=65205"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.coolkadin.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=65205"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.coolkadin.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=65205"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}